Fun With Foodies

I got an e-mail today from my editor at The Gazette, who has been working diligently to come up with new and exciting ideas for the county's beloved daily. The arts and entertainment section is therefore going to focus on food every Tuesday, and I was asked if I'd like to do a column. A column.

It isn't a real column, at least not in the way it's generally described. I don't get to rant about food or vegetable growing or how very aggravating it is to see the same chain restaurants everywhere. Instead, it appears that I'll be interviewing local people (including the occasional restaurant chef) about their cooking experiences and favorite recipes - my main contribution will be fun little intros to frame the pieces, as well as hunting down local types to interview. This will, of course, involve actual research - as much fun as it would be to leap out from behind endcaps at the local grocery store for ambush interviews ("CITIZEN! IN THE NAME OF JOURNALISM, DIVULGE THE COMPONENTS OF YOUR EVENING MEAL!") I'm not sure that technique would go over well with such a family-friendly publication. The local alt-weekly, maybe, but not our sweet little daily.

Of course, there's always the danger that my tenure with the food section may eventually involve me reviewing restaurants, which could indeed be the death of me. What with the day job keeping me literally tethered to my desk for eight hours, I'm not getting much exercise these days. I'm told I could get up early to work out, but I still have trouble with that. I'm very much a night owl (though it'll be a while before I can nerd by buying this car and naming it Archie¹), so I'd rather work out at 11:00 p.m. than 8:00 a.m. Of course, the way things are looking, I may well have to physically engage both early and late - I loathe the way I feel and look these days, and if my future involves rich meals on the cheap (or free!), I'm gonna have to pull out every stop I have. There's a real possibilty that they'll be rolling me in and out otherwise.

Maybe it's time to consider that non-fiction book idea I had. I call it, "Results Not Typical," and it'd follow me for a year as I tried every fad diet, trendy exercise routine and diet pill available. Hey, what's the worst that could happen?



¹I don't care what anyone says - to me, it looks like your friendly neighborhood owlship. It's also the closest I'll ever get to owning transport that awesome.